For Keeps?
by DreamInColor1630
Summary: What if Johnny had something entirely different to tell Alli in You'll Be Illin? Now both of their lives are turned upside down with the chain of events that is unfolding before them. Will they just run away, or will they meet the challenge head on?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First off, I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI. Secondly, this is my first fanfiction for the Degrassi fandom, so please be gentle with your reviews. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but no flames please. Now, on to the story!**

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"B-broke?" Alli swallowed thickly, tilting her head slightly to the side before continuing. "That can…happen?" When Johnny DiMarco had asked her to meet him in music detention, she was expecting to hear something along the lines of him missing her terribly and he couldn't live without her. Instead, she was bombarded with the news that during their little incident a few weeks prior, the protection had malfunctioned.

She watched as he sighed awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck. "Yeah, Alli, it can." He seemed annoyed, and suddenly she was very much aware of just how young she was. A red tint was slowly making its way up her cheeks as she shifted from one foot to the other, doing her best to choose the best reply to this statement.

"I thought you said we were…safe."

Another sigh escaped Johnny's lips before he spoke again. "You seemed shaken up enough. I didn't want to worry you over something that was probably nothing. The last thing you needed was that thought weighing your mind down." There was a long pause, neither of them making eye contact as the information sunk in. "I mean, it is nothing, isn't it? If you were…late or something, you would have told me."

Unsure of how to answer, Alli settled for silence. There was a deep intake of breath, followed by, "Shit, Alli! Why didn't you say anything?!" She put a hand to her forehead, slowly sitting down in one of the chairs in the music room. In all honesty, she had only noticed two days ago that she was slightly off schedule. Relying on the information that she and Johnny had been cautious, she'd brushed it off.

"Only by a few days, _Jonathan_!" His full name was said with the utmost infuriation. "Five to be exact and I didn't think it was anything to worry about. It might still be nothing to worry about. I could start at any time!" Her hand fisted in her hair as she spoke, the terror of the situation settling in.

"Well what are we going to do about it?!"

All at once, she felt completely attacked. "I don't know!" She stood, already making her way to the door. "I just…can't deal with this now. I'll see you around." By the time she was out the door, her speed was up to running as she dashed down the hall, seeking refuge in any place where Johnny wasn't. She didn't hear him screaming behind her.

"You can't just run away from this, Alli!"

Alli didn't mean to run smack into Anya, her brother's girlfriend, on her way out of the school. It just happened. She also didn't mean to collapse into hysterical sobs the minute she made eye contact with the girl. "Whoa, Alli, what's wrong?! What happed?" Vaguely, the freshman was aware of two thin arms wrapping themselves around her frame, hugging her close to a familiar form.

"Johnny and I…did it. And he wanted to talk and now it's broke and I'm late and I don't know what to do!" The entire thing was one giant, jumbled sentence that it was clear nobody could make good sense of. Glancing around, Anya began to move the mass that was herself and Alli off to the side, sitting the younger girl down on the stairs and taking a seat next to her.

"Okay, all I got was you and Johnny, something's broken, and you're late for something." She paused, rubbing circles up and down Alli's back. "Take a deep breath and let me know what's going on here. Do I need to beat the crap out of Johnny DiMarco?"

Alli shook her head, willing her breathing to slow down along with her heart rate. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She wasn't supposed to be telling her _brother's_ girlfriend about her recently discovered pregnancy scare. "Johnny and I did _it._ And the…protection broke, and I'm late." If Anya couldn't understand it now, the whole conversation was a lost cause.

There was a short pause. Then, "Oh, I see." Maybe it was a good thing that it was Anya that she told. If she had tried to tell Clare, there would have been accusations and I told you so. Now, it seemed that there was only an awkward silence. At least it was off her chest, though.

"What do I do? I don't know about these things." Just like in the music room with Johnny, she was bombarded with the fact that she was not yet fifteen. She was a tiny little Niner who had only had sex education class a year before, and now she might be having a baby. The thought made her stomach turn.

Anya's hand was still moving comfortingly along her back. "Well, how late are you exactly?" It was a valid question, the answer to which she had only told her now ex-boyfriend moments before. For some reason though, she had to stop in her panic and recall it.

"Five days."

The older girl nodded, arm wrapping around Alli's shoulders. "Then the only thing you can do is go to the nurse and get a test. It's confidential, so if it's negative, nobody will ever have to know." Time was moving so fast that her world seemed to be spinning. "School's out for the day, so you'll have to wait for tomorrow. If you want, I could drive you to the drug store to pick up a test, but somebody could see us there. It's probably safer to just go to the nurse."

"No, no, I'll just wait. The last thing I need is somebody to find out." Alli was dimly aware that she was shaking her head. "You'll come with me tomorrow, won't you? And you promise you won't tell Sav? He can't know. He just can't."

Anya nodded standing and taking the freshman with her. "Of course, Alli, I would never make you go alone and I would never tell your brother. It's not my news to tell." The red head was walking now, pulling Alli with her. "Now let's get you out of here. I'll let your brother know that we're going out for ice cream. That should make you feel a little bit better, at least."

Alli could only allow herself to be pulled to the car in the parking lot as Anya pulled out her phone to text Sav. "I just wanted him to love me." The statement was more to herself than to anyone else, but she found herself getting a reply nonetheless.

"I know, sweetie. I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know the first chapter went a bit fast, but this one slows it down quite a bit in comparison. We're also going to see a little bit of Anya's POV in this chapter as well. Oh, and I know that people don't usually send text messages with proper grammar (unless you're me), but just go with it. Please review and let me know what you think. **

**I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI.**

**

* * *

  
**

Although the time between her talk with Johnny and the ride home from the ice cream shop with Anya seemed to pass at lightning speed, it seemed to slow down to a simple creeping along once she was actually home. No matter how Alli tried to keep busy, she would glance at the clock after what seemed like eternity to find that only a mere few minutes had passed. Finally though, after declining dinner and using the excuse that she wasn't feeling well, she found herself alone in her room, standing in front of her mirror.

At first, she hadn't planned to stand there, with her shirt rolled up underneath her breasts, expecting for some huge bump to spring from her abdomen at once. But somehow, she ended up doing so. It didn't seem real. She hadn't gained any weight, and she hadn't been sick. Could there really be a baby growing in there? Then again, she reminded herself, there might not be one at all. It could all just be a false alarm. The lack of symptoms had to be a good sign, right?

Her eyes tore themselves from the mirror, landing on her cell phone that was perched on the end of her bed. For some reason, she had expected Johnny to call after she ran out on him after school. Yes, she hadn't exactly been fair to him with her exit, but she panicked. Surely, after knowing her at least this long he would have expected her to panic. Still, even she couldn't blame him for not wanting to deal with it. She didn't even want to deal with it.

Forcing her shirt back down about her hips, she moved to flip open the cell phone and send a text to Anya. It seemed that her brother's girlfriend was her only confidant in this whole mess so far, and she'd been relying heavily on her in the past few hours.

**I think I'm going to go to the nurse at lunch. That's a good time, right?**

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Her intentions to have sex with Johnny were based purely on the logic that he would realize she was all he ever wanted. Instead, she may have gotten way more than she bargained for. The worst part; the sex wasn't even good – not at all. As she'd told Clare, it was awkward and uncomfortable and she didn't plan on _ever_ doing it again. Her thoughts were interrupted as her cell phone buzzed for what seemed like the fiftieth time that evening.

_Of course that's a good time. There's no class, so you won't be missed or asked any questions. Relax, Alli. It's all going to be fine._

As much as Alli wanted to believe it, she knew that everything would _not_ be fine. No matter the outcome, she was screwed. If the test was positive, she was left wondering what in the hell she was going to do with a baby at fourteen. If it was negative, there would be this horrible _thing_ just hanging in the air between her and Johnny that they may never get over.

**We both know better than that, Anya. I just have to pee on a stick, right?**

Perhaps the sudden subject change would keep her mind off the what-if's and help her concentrate solely on getting through that test. The whole thing was kind of ironic when you looked at it that way. Allia Bhandari had never been frightened by a test before in her life until now. Clearly, her brain wasn't going to get her through this one.

The cell phone buzzed again.

_I doubt it. She'll probably want a blood sample to be sure. I heard that's what happened when that sophomore last year had a scare. Are you telling Johnny?_

As she read the word blood, Alli found herself panicking once again. Blood meant needles, and she was terrified of them. Groaning, she began to type a reply.

**Blood sample?! I'm scared to death of needles! As for Johnny, I guess I'll drop a note in his decoy locker. He gave me the phone back, so I don't have any other way of getting a hold of him. He probably won't care anyway.**

She let out a sigh, crawling into bed and snuggling herself under the covers. Maybe if she fell asleep, she could sleep until morning and the whole thing would be that much closer to being over with. The thought made her laugh at herself. As if she would be getting any sleep that night.

_Don't worry about it. I'll be right there to hold your hand. I have to go shower. Try and get some sleep. If you need to later, call me. I don't care what time it is._

Alli read the message over and over before shutting the phone without sending a reply. There was no need. It would probably be hours before the haven of sleep finally encased her, but she rolled over and tried anyway.

* * *

"Is that the note you're going to drop off in Johnny's locker?" Alli and Anya were making their way down the halls of Degrassi, trying to pass the time before first period.

"Yeah, I thought I could drop it off before first that way he'd hopefully get it before lunch." The older girl shrugged, snatching the note from Alli's hands.

"Don't worry about it. I'll tell him myself. I usually pass him on the way to class anyway." Normally, Alli would have never allowed it, but she had come to trust this girl with a lot since the day before. There was no reason to tell her no when all it did was make her life easier.

"Okay."

The redhead nodded, giving the other girl a pat on the back. "Good. You get to class. I have to go find your ex-boyfriend and make sure to see your brother after so that he doesn't get too suspicious. I'll meet you outside the nurse's office before lunch." She didn't give a lot of time to reply before taking off down the hall in the direction that she knew she was certain to run into the greasy blonde.

Sure enough, Johnny was perched in front of his decoy locker with his two friends at his side. "DiMarco," Anya called as she approached him. "We need to talk." He glanced up, eyebrows furrowing before shaking his head.

"No we don't." He insisted, slamming his locker door shut before going back to his conversation with Bruce. Taking a deep breath and willing her anger to stay at bay, she tried again.

"It's about Alli, and what you two talked about after school yesterday." All of the sudden, realization seemed to dawn on him as he dismissed his friends without further question. When they were gone, he looked to the girl expectantly. "She's going to the nurse to take a test today during lunch."

For a moment, she could have sworn she saw a bit of emotion cross his face before he shrugged. "Okay." Although his answer didn't seem like it led into anything else, that didn't stop Anya from sticking around and expecting to hear more.

"Well?" She pushed, desperately wanting to tell Alli that he cared enough to be there. "Are you going to go or not?" The question didn't seem to faze Johnny as he didn't even bother to look her way.

"Why should I go when she's the one that walked out on me yesterday?" At his words, her anger could no longer be contained as she found her arms moving forward, shoving his back against the lockers and putting herself nose to nose with him.

"You listen here, DiMarco." She began, glad that the hallway was empty except for a few scared freshman that seemed to run out of fear. "That little girl is terrified of needles, and she's about to go have one stuck into her arm to find out if she's having _your_ baby. I know I'm going to be there for her, but you're the one that helped get her into this mess. If you give a damn thing about her, you'll be there too, got it?"

And with a final stern look, she was walking away, leaving a very stunned and confused Johnny DiMarco behind.

* * *

"Are you sure you told Johnny?" Alli was panicking again. Although she hadn't expected him to show, there was a big part of her that hoped he would anyway. She was in the nurse's office, lying down on the table while the nurse gathered all the necessary tools to draw her blood and Johnny still hadn't showed.

"I told him, sweetie. Maybe he just got held after class again. It wouldn't be the first time." Squeezing Alli's hand, she ordered her not to look as the nurse began to tie the elastic around her arm and search for a vein.

Just when the nurse began to unwrap the needle from the sterile packaging and Alli thought all hope was lost, the door began to creep open ever so slowly and a familiar blonde head peeked around the corner. "I'm not late, am I?" The question probably couldn't have come out more awkward, but the sound of his voice made Alli sigh in relief nonetheless.

"Just in time, actually." Anya replied for her, releasing her hand and stepping back, clearly telling Johnny without words to take her place. It was obvious that Johnny didn't play the role of supportive boyfriend often, as he looked more than out of place stepping up to the side of the table and taking Alli's hand.

The young girl didn't seem to care though, only concerned with the fact that he was there. She squeezed his hand, breath hitching as the nurse spoke. "There'll be a little prick in a minute." Receiving a look from Anya, the boy focused his attention on his ex-girlfriend.

"It's all right, Backwoods. I'm sure it'll be over before you know it." Biting her lip, Alli looked up at him, eyes glassy.

"I'm scared, Johnny." Even he didn't have to be told that her words held two meanings. Nodding, his fingers reached uncomfortably for her hair, running through it in a way that was meant to be comforting. She squealed as the needle punctured skin, and he forced himself to keep his eyes on her, rather than on the red liquid flowing into the vial.

"It's going to be fine, Alli." The sound of her real name coming from his lips calmed her considerably. He hardly ever called her Alli. Even though she was currently getting blood drawn for a pregnancy test, and they weren't together, and absolutely nothing was certain, lying there holding his hand while his fingers raked through her hair, watching him look at her like that, she couldn't have felt safer.

But the moment was over as quickly as it came and the nurse was putting a bandage over the spot in the crease of her arm where the needle had been. "I'll send this off to be tested right now. You should have your results by the end of the day tomorrow if all goes well, and no later than the day after." All Alli could do was nod in reply, watching as the elderly lady labeled the vials before walking out the door and shutting it behind her.

It wasn't until the three teenagers were left in the room alone, and the silence became almost deafening that she finally allowed herself to cry. They weren't exactly quiet tears. They did begin that way, but within seconds they had evolved into all out sobbing.

For the first time since he'd entered the room, Johnny didn't have to ask himself what to do. He reached forward instinctively, pulling the crying girl up into his arms and holding her against his chest so tightly that she might break. She didn't seem to mind though, taking refuge in his embrace as her own arms wrapped around his back to return it.

"What are we going to do, Johnny?" He sighed, closing his eyes and asking himself the same question.

"Wait. We're going to wait on the results. That's all we can do."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: As I'm stuck at home sick in bed, I have nothing else to do but write. And so I give you Chapter Three. Thanks so much to all of you that left your reviews. It was those reviews that gave me the will to continue writing when I felt so crappy (for lack of a better medical term) that I only wanted to go back to bed. Please let me know what you think. **

**I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI.**

**

* * *

  
**

Despite showing up at the nurse's office at lunch, Johnny disappeared almost immediately after Alli managed to pull herself together. She was at her locker after the final bell, gathering her things and she still hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of him. She wanted to be angry with him for avoiding her, but in reality showing up at lunch was all he was required to do. They were still broken up and so his part in the whole thing really only entailed being present when there were things to be done concerning the possible baby.

However, just because she was short loads of support on Johnny's end, didn't mean she was short it in general. Anya had taken it upon herself to win the award for most supportive friend of the century. The poor girl had done everything but stand on her head to keep Alli's mind off of the results of the pregnancy test. In addition to chatting away about anything from the sale at the mall to the field trip the following week, she'd managed to make up excuses to keep Clare, Jenna, and even Sav at a distance. The last thing the freshman needed was more questions.

"So I was thinking," Anya began as she popped up out of nowhere for the millionth time that day. "That I could drive you home again and we could grab a bite to eat on the way."

Really, Alli didn't feel all that hungry, but if it would keep her from having to ride home with her brother, she was up for it. "Sure, that's great. Just let me grab my math book. Will you text Sav and let him know?"

"All ready done."

* * *

Anya had said they would pick something up on the way, but somehow that led to the two of them sitting in a semi-secluded booth at McDonald's. It was there that the thoughts she had been avoiding all day came to haunt her when a girl that couldn't have been a day over twenty-one walked in with a baby. The little thing was the spitting image of its mother and she couldn't help but wonder.

Would her baby have her eyes? Her lips? Her nose? Would it have Johnny's chin? His long fingers? Would it be sweet tempered or develop his attitude as it grew older?

"Stop!" She chided herself aloud. "God, Anya, I'm driving myself crazy!" It was absurd to even be thinking such things. She didn't even know if there _was_ a baby yet.

"I know, Alli." The other girl reached across the table to give her hand a squeeze. "It won't be much longer."

* * *

For the second night in a row, sleep did not come to Alli. When she woke the next morning, she didn't even bother to try and hide a change of clothes under the ones her mother had bought for her. She settled instead on a simple pair of jeans and an oversized sweater. In third period, she was about to complete the ensemble by pulling her hair up into a haphazard ponytail when Clare's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Why are you avoiding me to spend time with Anya? The two of you have never really hung out before. Did I do something?" Alli sighed, putting her head on her hand without looking away from the computer.

"No, Clare, you haven't done anything. I'm just…going through some stuff." Her tone held a hint of annoyance at the question, clearly telling Clare to let up for now. Between the lack of sleep and the stress of wondering about the test results, she was so _not_ in the mood.

Her friend sighed, plopping down beside her. "Fine, don't tell me. I'm here if you decide you want to talk about it." She wanted to feel bad for obviously offending Clare, but in her distress could not bring herself to do so. There were bigger fish to fry.

By lunch, Alli was too nervous to even bother to try and eat anything. She skipped the cafeteria, finding refuge in a small dark corner of the library instead. Secretly, she was hoping that Johnny might be lurking nearby in search of another book. No such luck as the boy was nowhere to be found. She was beginning to wonder if he was even at school at all.

It was as though she had been sitting in that chair for eternity when the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, and yet it still seemed to come far too soon. She had found so much comfort in the quiet calm of the library that the last thing she wanted to do was leave it. With a sigh, she forced herself up off the cushion, determined to make it through the rest of the day.

It seemed however, that fate had other plans. She wasn't even given a chance to sit down in sixth period, as she was called to the teacher's desk just as she walked through the door. "Yes, Mr. Costello? Is something wrong?"

Her math teacher shook his head, handing her a pink piece of paper. "Not at all. They've called and requested to see you in the nurse's office."

So this was what fear really felt like.

The trip down the familiar hallway seemed much more daunting this time. There was nobody by her side now; no Anya, no Johnny. She was all on her own for this one. It was in that spilt second as the thought crossed her mind that the severity of the situation finally hit her.

There was no time to be fourteen anymore. She had to square her shoulders and be a woman. It was her own actions that had gotten her into this mess, and nothing she could do would change the result of that test, whether it be negative or positive. It was time to grow the hell up.

* * *

Alli really had thought she would cry; break down into hysterical sobs like she had the day before. But this wasn't at all what happened. Instead, she found herself sitting silently while the nurse explained that although she didn't experience any symptoms, the test had turned out to be positive. Somehow, she had known ever since Johnny had said the words 'condom' and 'broke' in the same sentence.

"You can sit here as long as you like to take in the information. If you think it might help, you're more than welcome to see the counselor as well." The elderly woman's voice shook her out of her reverie. Again, it would seem normal to need some time to process everything, but to Alli it had already been processed. Hell, it was all she had thought about for almost three days. Did she really just want to sit there, or even worse, go talk to a counselor about it? No freaking way. Besides, there was something else that she really needed to do.

"Actually, could I just have a pass? I really think I should go tell my…boyfriend." She was already embarrassed enough to have needed a test in the first place, let alone find out she was indeed pregnant. The last thing she wanted was the nurse to know that she and Johnny weren't even together anymore.

"Of course, dear. Here you are." No time was wasted as she snatched the tiny piece of paper into her hands and darted out of that office. Her legs carried her in the direction where she knew Johnny would be having wood shop. That is, if he had even bothered to show up that day.

How did she tell him the news? It wasn't as though she could just waltz into the classroom and greet him as 'Daddy'. No, that was something cute married couples in their thirties did. They most certainly _did not_ fit that category. Why did everything about the past few days have to be so damn complicated?

Her time to decide how to tell Johnny was cut off as she opened the door to the wood shop classroom without realizing she still didn't have an answer. Damn. "Could I see Johnny for a minute?" She tried her best to ignore the snickers and laughs from his friends as she met his eyes, rather than the teacher's. Apparently he did indeed show up for school, and was just doing a hell of a job avoiding her. "I have a pass." She added, sighing in relief as the teacher gave her ex-boyfriend a jerk of the head.

Johnny moved toward her, stepping out the door and pulled her away from the windows of the classroom and any prying eyes. There was an awkward silence as the stared at each other for a moment, and she wished that he could just read her thoughts rather than her actually having to voice them aloud. It would have been so much easier.

Never before had she been forced to stand in front of someone with news that would change the rest of their lives. At the thought, the room started to spin slightly. She had to be brave, right? It wasn't like he wasn't going to find out eventually.

"Well?" He pressed, clearly anxious to know the outcome of the blood test.

Alli took a deep breath, opening her mouth to reply. Something went wrong though, in that second and she found herself running to the nearest trash can rather than speaking. As she emptied the contents of her stomach into the waste receptacle, she had only one thought. Her symptoms simply had to choose now to show up.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter was a real challenge for me to write. Alli and Johnny are so hard to portray properly because they're constantly hot and cold. I really did my best to capture this in this chapter and I hope I did it well. This is the longest chapter to date, and although most of it was written while I was sick and in the hospital, I'm proud of it. Please, please, please let me know what you think. **

**A special thanks goes to all of those that left such wonderful reviews last time. I really appreciate them greatly. Please keep them coming. **

**

* * *

  
**

"I take it the test was positive?" They were sitting now, side by side on a nearby bench. It was the first time Johnny had spoken since Alli had begun throwing up. As much of a good guy as he had been the day before, he seemed to be doing just the opposite now.

He didn't hold back her hair, or rub her back like good boyfriends would do. Oh no, he stood back while she emptied the contents of her stomach into the trash can without offering to so much as get her a cool paper towel from the bathroom. It seemed that he was back to being Johnny the Ass rather than the Johnny she had grown to…like.

"Yeah, it was. I'm…I'm…just yeah." The air between them was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. She found herself fumbling for something got say, but came up empty. What do you say to a guy whom you just told you were having his baby? "What do we do now?"

He glanced at her, shrugging his shoulders. It seemed the longer they sat there, the colder his demeanor became. "We do whatever you want to do, Backwoods." As he spoke, he stood and began to move back toward the classroom.

"Whatever I want? What about what you want? You're a part of this too, Johnny!" Alli was jumping to her feet, desperate to somehow make him stay.

"It's your body, your call on what comes next. I need to get back to class." For a moment, he faltered as he glanced back at her and met her eyes. His expression was pained, but she barely had time to reach her hand forward for him before he was moving again.

"Johnny, please, don't walk away from me." Once again, she was terrified and alone. Now, she really did allow herself to cry.

"Just let me know what you decide." And he was disappearing behind the cover of the classroom door.

* * *

Alli didn't go back to class. Instead, she slipped outside to hang out by Anya's car until the final bell rang. After an hour of waiting, she realized she had been subconsciously rubbing at her stomach and trying to picture what it would come to look like in the nearing months. Luckily, her torture came to an end soon after when students began to exit the building.

"Somehow I can't imagine a beach ball underneath my halter top." Anya stopped walking as Alli spoke. Between the statement and the look on her face, the older girl understood completely.

"So I guess this is for real, huh?" The redhead sighed, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly before asking. "What did Johnny say? Or did you even tell him yet?"

Alli folded her arms across her chest, leaning on the hood of the car. "Before he ran away, you mean?" She spat bitterly. "He basically told me to do whatever the hell I wanted to about it and to let him know."

At the news, Anya's jaw visibly locked and her stance stiffened. "I'm sure he's just freaked out. He'll come around in a few days." She paused, glancing around before settling her gaze back on Alli. "He'd better come around."

Before Alli could question Anya's final statement, Sav interrupted the conversation. "There you two are. What's with you guys lately? When did you become best friends?"

Even though he was looking right at her, Alli found she could not meet her brother's gaze. The feeling of shame hit her all at once. Suddenly, she felt very dirty and had the overwhelming urge to run and hide. To her, she felt like she had a giant neon flashing sign above her head that read 'Tramp'.

"Your sister isn't feeling well. Be a good big brother and take her home." Anya to the rescue once again, it seemed. As she spoke, she kissed Sav on the cheek before looking over at Alli. "Call me later and let me know if…you're feeling better."

Before she knew it, Sav's arm was around her shoulder's, pulling her toward his car. "Anya was right. You need to get home. You don't look so good."

"Hey, Sav," She questioned, stealing a glance at him for the first time since he'd shown up. "You'll always love me, no matter what, right?"

Her brother's eyebrows furrowed at the question. "Of course, Alli, I'm your brother. It's in my job description. What brought that up?"

"Nothing, Sav, I'm just making sure."

* * *

It wasn't until late that night, as she lay in bed alone that Alli finally felt secure enough to start considering her options. There were really only three basic ones: abortion, adoption and keeping the baby. Abortion would be the option her parents would choose for her. Adoption would be something the school counselor might advise. These were both much more sensible choices than becoming a teenage mother.

The main question remained however. Could she really kill her baby? Sure, it was technically an indistinguishable lump of cells at that point, and she could always tell herself afterward that it never existed in the first place. Her parents would never have to know. She could have Anya take her to a clinic and make the whole thing disappear. It all sounded very logical.

The problem with this though, was that logic wasn't the only thing that had a place in the matter. There was another side to it entirely that was based purely on emotion. It was a side of herself that she didn't think would ever allow her to kill the life growing within her.

The baby was a part of her, and even more importantly, a part of Johnny. It was both of them, something that they had created together. Sure, she hated the situation and the decisions that had brought her there, but she could not bring herself to hate her unborn child; to hate it so much as to deny it a chance at life. That was just wrong.

That moment decide everything for Alli. She would not kill her baby. Adoption was not necessarily off the table completely, but for the time being she would just make her plans like she was keeping it. The only trouble with her plan was that her parents would never allow her to do such a thing. And so, nobody but Anya, Johnny and herself could know. At least, that is, not until it was too late for a legal abortion to seem appropriate.

* * *

It had been three weeks, and Johnny was still avoiding Alli like the plague. Several mornings she had woken up, and after having her usual session where what was left of last night's dinner met the toilet, determined that it would be the day she would tell him of her plans to keep their child. Somehow though, she just didn't know how to approach him about it. The fact that every time she got anywhere within five feet of him, he all but ran away didn't really help either.

There were other things on her mind nevertheless. It was Friday, and she was going to her first secret appointment at a local clinic with Anya after school. She had lied to Sav and told him that Anya was helping her with her monologue for drama. At first, her brother, along with everyone else, had grown suspicious of her newfound closeness between the two. After a while, he'd dismissed it, finding other things to dwell on.

Although she had grown rather close to Sav's girlfriend, she had grown just as far apart from her other friends. She and Clare rarely spoke anymore if it wasn't at some event for the gifted program. During class, she sat in the back by herself to avoid any unwanted questions. For some reason, it just seemed easier that way. Lonely, yes, but simpler was better for the time being.

Time seemed to speed by that day and soon it was 3:37 p.m. and she was sitting in the waiting room of the clinic, filling out paperwork. As she glanced around, she suddenly felt very out of place being surrounded by tons of women in their twenties and thirties. Still, she shook it off and forced herself to focus on answering the questions on the paper so that she could hurry up and see a doctor.

Alli was just signing her signature to the last page when the door swung open and a woman in scrubs called out her name. Like she had on her way to get the test results three weeks ago, she took a deep breath before standing to follow the woman. At least this time she had Anya with her. She wasn't exactly Johnny, but she would do for now.

"Have you experienced any sickness, cravings, or mood swings?" Alli was sitting on the exam table while Anya took the chair in the corner. This was just one of a series of questions the doctor had been bombarding her with.

"All of the above, along with my pants getting smaller." Her reply roused a chuckle from the woman in the white lab coat.

"That tends to happen. Lie back here for me and pull her shirt up. You're somewhere between seven and eight weeks, so we should be able to get a good visual on the ultrasound." Alli complied, leaning back and raising her shirt up underneath her breasts.

There wasn't any kind of noticeable protrusion of her stomach yet, but it was clear that her wardrobe was going to need to be updated soon. The waistband of her tiny jeans that once fit her perfectly strained against her abdomen. A bump was clearly on its way, and if she had any hope of keeping her pregnancy a secret, she would be breaking out the oversized sweaters her mother had bought for her within the next few days. Lovely.

A gasp left her lips as the cool gel hit her belly without warning, followed by the wand the doctor was using to get a picture on the screen. "Let's see here." The woman mumbled, searching for the tiny human that had taken up residence inside the teenager. "There's your baby."

Never before did Alli think it was possible to fall into love with a tiny little lump until now. It was only an irregular mass in black and white on a computer screen, but she loved it unconditionally already. It was the weirdest feeling she had ever experienced. Even though the moment made the whole situation all that more real, she couldn't bring herself to be anything other than happy.

* * *

By that Monday morning the happiness had faded and was replaced by the usual feeling of loneliness. On the bright side, she had finally figured out a way to communicated with Johnny. The night before, she had put one of the ultrasound print outs into an envelope with a simple note written on the back.

_I'm keeping it._

It wasn't the best way of finally letting him know what she had been planning for weeks now, but it was all she had for the time. Although he had told her to inform him of her decision, he wasn't exactly making an effort to find out anything. To her, he seemed to want no part in it. She could do it alone, she knew, but the scared little fourteen year old girl that still lingered inside of her didn't want to. Hence her last effort to get Johnny involved.

Her first thought was to stuff it in his locker, but she had this horrible fear that it might fall into the wrong hands. The last thing she could do was have her secret exposed, putting the life of her child at risk. She just had to hide it long enough so that when people did find out, there would be no denying it. Her parents would already be embarrassed, which would have been their motivation for choosing that option in the first place.

In the end, she chose to send it by Anya, like she had her first message. This was the safest way tot do it. Nobody new had to be involved and the chances of the information falling into the wrong hands were slim to none. It seemed to be the perfect plan, and Anya seemed to agree immediately without question. Once again, one less thing she had to stress over was always a good thing.

"He usually hangs out with Bruce on the front steps after school if he doesn't have detention. I'd do it myself, but I have practice for this weekend's math competition with Clare after school." The lie had been thrown into the middle of it all, but they both knew Alli would do anything to avoid having to see Johnny and relive the sting of rejection over again.

"Don't worry. I'll get it to him, and make sure he doesn't toss it or anything. You just go do your math stuff, and don't worry about it, okay?" Anya was acting far too pleased about getting to be the one to give Johnny the envelope, but Alli wouldn't let herself dwell on it. As long as she didn't have to face her ex-boyfriend, she didn't care what was going on in her friend's head.

* * *

Anya had requested to leave her last class of the day five minutes early just so that she could be waiting on the steps for Johnny DiMarco. For some reason, she had thought he was really going to step up after their last encounter, but she had been wrong. Instead, he seemed to be playing the part of the bad boy all too well. Three weeks of it, and she was fed up. He wasn't going to do to Alli what Lucas had done to Mia.

Sure enough, just as Alli had promised, the very person she wanted to see walked out of the double doors with Bruce not too long after the final bell rang. Standing up straight from where she had been leaning on the bricks, she called out to him. "One warning just wasn't enough for you, was it, DiMarco?" As he saw her, Johnny stopped dead in his tracks, an unreadable emotion written all over his face. "Maybe we should go somewhere and talk."

Her eyes refused to leave his as she stared him down, almost daring him to disagree with her. Glancing around at the large crowd of students, Johnny slowly nodded before leaving Bruce and moving down the stairs to meet her at the bottom. "What's all this about this time?" His question went unanswered as Anya simply began to walk, not waiting for him to follow until she reached a secluded area around the side of the school.

"Am I going to have to flat out kick your ass to get you to see the severity of the situation?" Her tone shocked the senior, causing him to check the distance between them at the memory of their last meeting. When he didn't answer, Anya continued. "If you think you're going to abandon Alli and leave her to do everything on her own like your friend Lucas, you've got another thing coming. You've got all of sixty seconds to explain to me why you disappeared on her for three weeks before I take it upon myself to beat some sense into that thick head of yours."

Johnny sighed, clearly unhappy about being forced to explain his actions. "I'm not abandoning her." He defended, speaking again before Anya could interrupt him. "I'm doing her a favor." It seemed that his speech ended there, but the girl was definitely not satisfied with his lack of detail.

"Doing her a favor?! And what favor is that exactly? Because from the way her brother keeps telling me that he hears her crying herself to sleep at night, calling out your name when she thinks nobody can hear, I don't think there's any _favors_ involved here." At the news, she watched Johnny's face change dramatically before he turned away from her, putting his hands on his head in frustration.

"Don't you think I've done enough damage? I put her in this situation." He paused, shaking his head before turning back to face her. "I'm just trying to save her from all the pain I seem to keep causing her. I'm trying to do the right thing. Don't you get it?" It seemed that under stress, things were coming out of his mouth that he wouldn't normally let anyone hear, especially not Anya whom he barely knew.

"You want to do the right thing?" Anya stepped closer to him, pulling the envelope out of her bag and shoving it at his chest. "Go tell her all of this. Let her know why you've been running away like a coward, and then do whatever it takes to assure her that you won't be doing so anymore." She started to walk away, leaving him with the envelope.

"How am I supposed to that? She probably won't even talk to me." At his words, she paused, turning back to face him from her place on the sidewalk. Although she was furious with him for the time being, there was a part of her that felt sorry for him. Alli wasn't the only one going through the stress of the pregnancy, although she was bearing the majority of it.

"I might not ever understand why, but Alli is helplessly, completely, head over heels in love with you." She paused, giving him a moment to soak in the information. "She might not tell you, but she is. If there's one thing I know, it's that there's nothing a girl in love won't do. You can find her in the room where the Mathletes practice. She'll be there until four." There was another long pause between the two as Anya took a moment to pity the young man in front of her. "If I were you, I'd take a look in that envelope before you go. Do yourself a favor, DiMarco, and prove me and everyone else wrong about you."

* * *

Alli found it hard to concentrate on math when her thoughts kept wondering back to her message she'd sent to Johnny. It didn't help that trying to go over equations with Clare was more awkward than delivering the message herself probably would have been. They were halfway through the packet of questions the coach had given them to do together when an all too familiar voice interrupted her train of thought.

"Could I borrow Alli for a minute? It won't take long." She froze as the sound reached her ears; not needing to turn around to know who it was that was requesting to speak with her. Mixed emotions flooded through her all at once. Every night she had fallen asleep, hoping that the next day would be the one when she would hear his voice again, the day when everything would be okay. Part of her was elated, and yet part of her was frightened that he was only there to tell her he wanted no part in it, angry that he'd waited this long to come talk to her in the first place. She wasn't so sure she even wanted to have a conversation with him at this point.

It seemed the coach decided for her. "Make it quick, Bhandari. I want that packet finished before practice is over." Slowly, taking a deep breath, she pushed herself to her feet and up out of her desk. Her eyes focused on the ground, careful not to allow herself to look at his face until she was out of the room and into the safety of the hallway. Carefully, she raised her gaze, willing herself not to melt under his stare.

"What do you want? I have practice, things to do." Alli did her best to keep her tone annoyed, angry, and anything but vulnerable. Still, there was the look on her face that oozed vulnerability. She felt a lot better though when she took a good look at his, which held a similar expression.

"You're keeping it." Rather than answer her question, Johnny went straight to the point. Alli nodded, shrugging her shoulders, determined to keep her cool. He couldn't be allowed to tear her down like he had before.

"Yeah, I am. I don't know why you even care. It's not like you've made an effort to be a part of this." Her words along with her tone were venomous, she knew. They were meant to hurt him, and by the way he visibly flinched, they had done their job.

He sighed, swallowing and taking a moment to pause before answering her. "Look, I know I've been avoiding you lately, but I thought you'd like it better that way. I thought…I figured it was best if I didn't do anymore damage than I already had. I told you before, Backwoods; you're better off without me." Just as her words appeared to hurt him, his cut through her like a knife.

"So I'm better of being pregnant, alone, and scared half to death?" Even in her distress, she managed to keep her voice down low to keep people from hearing. "How could you ever think that?" She paused, taking a moment to collect herself and will her hormones to allow her to keep from crying in front of him. "I don't want to do this on my own, Johnny." Despite her resolve, her voice cracked still, and she had to blink a few times to keep the liquid at bay.

His expression became pained, just as it had the day she'd pulled him out of wood shop. Awkwardly, he reached his hand forward for hers, and she realized then that he was shaking. "I know, Alli. I get that now." He paused, opening his mouth several more times before anything actually came out. "I really…care about you – a lot. And if you want me here, then I'm here. If you want me gone, all you have to do is say the word."

Alli wasn't really sure what to make of the whole thing. It was pretty out of character for Johnny to say such a thing. Sure, he'd had his moments in the past, but he wasn't exactly dependable. She stood there for a few long moments, trying to determine the level of sincerity to his little speech before sighing. "Of course I want you here, Johnny."

Johnny seemed completely relieved at her statement, moving to pull her into a hug, but she stopped him. "On one condition," She continued, reminding herself that his previous indiscretions could not be forgotten so quickly. "If we're going to be together, you have to start proving that you mean what you say. Things have to be better than they were before."

A smirk formed on his face as he said the words she'd heard so many times before, but they never failed to make her putty in his hands. "You know it's impossible to say no to you, right?" She smiled, initiating the hug herself this time as her arms encircled his middle, cheek pressing against his chest.

"I really missed you, Johnny." His arms wrapped around her waist, holding her against him as his face buried itself in her hair. Everything finally seemed like it might work out.

"I missed you too, Backwoods. I just have one question for you." Her eyebrows furrowed, tilting her face to look up at him. Johnny grinned at her, giving her a squeeze before asking.

"Why does our child look like a tadpole?"


	5. Chapter 5

To Alli's surprise, Johnny hung around after she went back to practice so that they could talk after. It took a bit of begging on her part with the coach, but eventually he was permitted to sit in the back of the room while she worked on her equations. It was even harder to concentrate with him mere feet away, knowing that he was starting at her, probably with that smirk on his face that never failed to make her go weak in the knees.

Suddenly, math seemed to make no sense and all of the numbers were running together. Still, there were answers appearing on her paper that she had no clue how they got there. Her mind was caught up in thoughts of her newly fixed relationship. Johnny seemed to legitimately want to be involved. Maybe now everything could work out as she wanted.

Then again, there was still the issue of keeping her "condition" a secret. If she wanted to refrain from wearing the clothes her mother had bought her for real, there would have to be a trip to the mall made within the next few days. Anya would probably take her, but finding clothes that would disguise her middle and still look cute would be more than a challenge.

"Alright, it's four o'clock. Practice is over. Make sure you turn your worksheets in to me before you leave." The coach's voice startled her, and she began to panic before she realized that she had managed to finish the entire packet. Breathing a sigh of relief, she handed in her paper and went to meet Johnny, ignoring a rather unhappy look from Clare.

"I'm supposed to walk home, which means I have to be back when my parents get home from work at six. Sav won't come looking for me, but they will." He nodded, throwing an arm about her shoulders and pulling her against his side.

"Gives us about two hours. Plenty of time to talk, right?" He pulled her along and out of the classroom. Where they were going, she wasn't sure, but for now she'd just let him lead the way. It felt good to not be the one making the decisions for the time being.

Eventually, after a short car ride, she found herself walking hand in hand with Johnny at a nearby park. For a time, there was silence between the two. They had so much to talk about, but Alli couldn't think of a single thing to say. Maybe it was because she felt as though if she said anything at all, he would disappear and she would wake to find it was all a simple dream.

Johnny stopped at a tree, taking a seat at the base of the trunk and pulling her down to rest between his outstretched legs. "Now," He was nearly whispering as she settled her back against his chest. "Would you mind filling me in on just how we are going to keep this baby?"

His voice washed over her, and despite the topic, she felt calm just being in his arms again. "I haven't really thought out too many specifics. Well, except for one." She paused, turning her face to look at him. "We can't tell anyone for a while. It had to be a secret."

Alli hadn't really been sure what his reaction to this would be, but a smirk, followed by a chuckle certainly wasn't on the list. Her eyebrows furrowed, but before she could question him, he was explaining. "I know this is something you're probably embarrassed about. Hell, I wish people didn't have to know. But, Alli, people are going to notice when you start gaining weight, and all in your middle."

She sighed, shaking her heard. "If my parents find out, they'll make me abort the baby. I can't do that." Her hand found his that was resting on her hip and entangled their fingers. "I'll buy some new clothes this weekend to hide my stomach. My parents can't know. So nobody else can either."

Johnny didn't say anything right away. Instead, he sat there, squeezing her hand, seemingly deep in thought. Eventually he spoke up. "If that's how you want it, my lips are sealed." Part of her wanted to tell him that he should tell her what _he_ wanted, but she didn't want to screw things up when they'd only just gotten better.

"Okay, so we'll keep it a secret. Now what about the other stuff?" All of the sudden, reality was hitting her like a ton of bricks. "How do we afford it? I'll be lucky if my parents don't kill me when they _do_ find out. There's no way they'll help me."

This time, her boyfriend didn't hesitate to answer. "Looks like I'm finally going to have to stop putting off getting a job." His words startled her. Johnny wasn't responsible. He seemed to be full of surprises that day. At least for the time, everything seemed to be falling into place. Unfortunately, Alli had come to realize that it never stayed that way.

* * *

"Johnny, you promised! You told me you would come with me!" They had agreed that the next Friday, he would go with her to buy the new clothes she needed and now he was ditching her to go and hang with Bruce at the ravine. "The whole thing freaks me out enough as it is! I need you there with me. You said things would be different."

Her boyfriend sighed, taking her elbow and pulling her further out of the way of prying eyes and ears. "I'm trying here, Alli. I walked you to school every day since we got back together, called when I said I'd call, and even let you sit on my lap at lunch. If you want to keep this a secret, then I have to go with Bruce."

Alli tilted her head to the side and waited for him to explain. What could any of that have to do with keeping her pregnancy a secret? He took a deep breath, clearly biting back another sigh. "The guys are already weirded out by the looking for a job and spending all that time with you. I need to show up today or they're going to know that something is wrong. We can't have them asking questions."

Honestly, she wasn't convinced, but she agreed nonetheless. "Okay, fine. I'll just get Anya to take me. I guess I could always make it on my own if she can't. They're just clothes, right? I buy them by myself all the time." Her speech was more to make herself feel better than anything else.

"There's the spirit, Backwoods. You'll be just fine." The little bit that her self pep-talk did to help, his words took away. This time he could not keep his sigh in as he watched her. His arms reached for her, pulling her against his chest as he breathed in the scent of her hair. "I'll make it up to you and I'll call you when I'm done at the ravine. Okay?"

As upset as she was with Johnny, she still allowed herself to wrap her arms around his middle and enjoy the moment. She took a breath, steeling herself for what she needed to do" Okay, I should go. I want to make it to the mall before it gets crowded and school has already been out for twenty minutes. I'll talk to you whenever you call." And then she was pulling away from him, making her way in the direction of Anya's car before he could make anything else okay with a simple touch.

* * *

To put it simply, the mall was utter hell. Not only did she have to hope that nobody spotted her, but Alli had to deal with the fact that she was gaining weight. The tops were an easy find. Baby doll styles worked well with the high waist band, and would easily hide her middle. It was the pants that caused her all the trouble.

Going up a size in jeans fit her around the waist, but then the legs were much too big. After trying on multiple styles with no luck, Anya had a suggestion. "Maybe you should just stick to skirts and sweat pants for a while. You can always put leggings on under your skirts to keep away the cold."

It wasn't the dream wardrobe, but at that point there wasn't much of a choice. "Okay, deal. We have to find skirts that won't look stupid with my new shirts though." The being said, they began a search that would take two more hours before she finally found herself back at home in her room.

* * *

Ten o'clock at night and Alli was still waiting on Johnny's call. Part of her wanted to cry, but she'd cried enough during her search for pants. Instead of crying and waiting around for a call that probably wouldn't come, she settled for climbing into bed and going to sleep for the night. Her plan would have worked well, if after she had just gotten to sleep Johnny didn't finally decide to call.

With a groan, she picked up her ringing cell phone and held it to her ear. "Yes? Now that it's way late at night, what do you want?" Her voice was cranky, and she didn't quite care. Pregnant women were supposed to be allowed to be cranky, right? On the other end, Johnny just chuckled and spoke.

"_Stop acting like you're mad and come open your window."_

It took her a moment to register what he was saying, and when she did, it only made her angrier. The boy had to have a death wish. Her parents were home, and if they caught him they'd both die. Still, there was a part of her that always wondered what it would be like to sneak him in when it was so dangerous.

Clicking her phone shut, she moved to pull up the blind and open the window he always came through. Sure enough, there he was perched on her room with a grin on his face. "Hey, Backwoods. Miss me?" As happy as she was to see him, she crossed her arms over her chest and played angry.

"Johnny DiMarco, are you crazy?!" Her voice was a hushed whisper. "If you get caught we're in giant trouble, as in the kind that ends in coffins and funerals!" He laughed, pushing himself through the window and pulling her into his arms.

"Then let's not get caught." He gave her a squeeze before pulling back to go flip the lock on her bedroom door. "Problem solved." He claimed as he plopped down onto the unruffled side of the bed. "I promised I'd make it up to you, and since I couldn't go shopping with you, I'm yours for the rest of the night."

Although Alli knew that he'd still put his friends before her, she still couldn't fight off the urge as she climbed into bed next to him and settled her back against his chest. "You probably wouldn't have liked shopping with me anyway. I had about ten meltdowns over the fact that I couldn't find pants. I hope you like your girlfriend wearing sweatpants."

She could feel Johnny's chest move as he laughed and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't worry about that. I do believe I told you before; I don't care what you wear. You'll always look good to me." The memory of that moment made her smile, but she couldn't help but wonder how they got from there to where they were in so little time.

"I'm glad you think so, Johnny. Just be prepared for a long next few months. Clearly, I'm a crier." His chin settled on her shoulder as his arms began to shift. His hand slipped under the hem of her large sleep shirt, and for a moment she froze. That is, until it spread out over the small lump on her abdomen and he swallowed thickly.

"So that's it, huh?" There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the air as he waited on her response. It wasn't as though either of them needed one. It was obvious to the answer, and yet it seemed appropriate.

"Yeah, that's it." He rubbed his hand over her bump for a few long moments before speaking again.

"There's a baby in there."

Alli nodded, agreeing with him. "Yes, there's a baby in there." The moment lasted but a few more seconds, and then it was gone. Johnny removed his chin from her shoulder and pulled her against him, telling her to go to sleep. She complied, closing her eyes, and that was how they stayed for the remainder of the night.

* * *

**A/N: I Just wanted to let everyone know that I have had a crazy past few months. I'm not abandoning this story or anything, and so that's why you got a bit of a short Chapter 5 in comparison to the previous one. Also, I took the time to create a banner with this story after working with Paint Shop Pro for quite a few weeks. It's on my TinyPic, which the link to will be at the end of this note. I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and reviews are greatly encouraged and appreciated. Also, please take a look at the banner and let me know what you think. **

**All my love, **

**Haley**

_Banner:_

/m/6xqbyv/4


End file.
